The Movie in the Mirror
by Life's Bowl Of Fruit
Summary: AU, Come and watch my movie with me...watch my life go right by me. Abuse, mention of non-con, may be triggering.


**Author's Note:** _I'm morbid and should be working on my other stories but this needed to be done. So here it is, I warn you now it is about child abuse. And no I will never continue this story or anything, it's simply a piece where you can look into a mind of a victum or so I would assume._

_Also the italics is memories not thoughts. Snippets of her life that she see's and remembers and the line breaker is basically the more story-like part...oh you'll understand when you read ^.^_

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><p>When she looked in the mirror it made her wonder, really, truly wonder…why?<p>

Why did she live?

To what purpose?

For hobbies?

To see the world had good in it?

No.

_"It's not much but I enjoy it plus it lets me buy more arrows, I'm handy with a bow ya know."_

_"You? Ha! I doubt you could hit the broad side of a barn."_

_"Eh, think what you want but I _am_ good." He smirked and they continued their walk, like any other day, like tomorrow would be._

She worked for things she needed and toys she bought but there was no reason for it when she could just sit and watch the days go by. There was no reason for anything really. She now understood why some people didn't want to ponder the mysteries of life, it made you listless; it made you realize there was no point.

_"Oh, so because I'm younger than you I have less experience? I'm not 'world-wise'! Well fuck you! I have done more than you have…I've seen the things that make kids hide under their blankets at night, I've felt the loss of everything, home, family and I've been happy with it all too! I've smiled and looked back and thought 'wow' but it doesn't change the fact that in the end there's nothing."_

_"When you get older you'll understand the world more." He gently patted her arm, "You only think this way because the world has given you lemons, once you make lemonade the feeling will pass."_

_She jerked away and slapped him the silence reigning around them louder any sound could make, she shook her head._

_"…I've made lemonade but I don't like it."_

Sure, many people told her the feeling would pass, that it was simply her 'being young' but it wasn't no, she was no longer young. The slight crinkle at the corner of her eyes, the lines around her mouth when she smiled, the way her skin never tightened with exercise, she was a far cry from her younger days but she was not so old either, only a ripe 28.

But life had not been kind. Then again who was it kind to? She wasn't whining no, she had been—was—too afraid to change things, afraid of the consequences, afraid of him and the damn mirror.

The mirror that showed her everything she truly was, bitter, unfeeling, empty and broken.

And him, who made her light up while he forced into shadowed corners.

_He'd touched her. He'd touched her and she let him. Pretended it someone else and reacted. Oh fuck, she had practically encouraged it hadn't she? There was something wrong with her, at the time she had been too frightened to do anything and then her body…her body had wanted…Oh god._

_She leaned over the wash basin, unable to look at herself or fight the urge to empty her breakfast. He had promised her wasn't like the others but everything was the same. A female was forever female and a male was forever male._

_The burning filled her lungs and her fingers curled before smashing repeatedly into the wall. They were locking her in, he was locking her up and there was nowhere to run. Even if she told someone what difference would it make, she knew his past, he'd find her and she would ruin her family's life. She could bear with it then. Just a little longer, she would be eighteen soon and she could escape and never return._

She hated him. She hated herself. But most of all she hated that she could feel nothing, oh, she could say she hated him and herself but the truth was that was simply what everyone expected of her, it was a 'normal' reaction. In truth she didn't care one way or another, she wasn't sad, she wasn't angry she didn't even understand those emotions, it was as if she was the greatest actress of all time. Acting out so many roles she couldn't find herself.

To her friends she was goofy, sardonic, kind and little off-beat but all around a genuine person who went with the flow and tactlessly blunt.

To her family she was simply nuts, protecting, loving and dorkier than she was around her friends.

To acquaintances she was sultry, cruel and too cynical about the world for people to get close to her but she loved to joke and tease without mercy.

But to him…to him she was content, angry, happy and in love. In love with _him._

A long time ago that statement had filled her with dread the bile rising up into her throat but now…now there was nothing only a whisper of what could have been had she been strong enough to flee and take what was hers.

_She had never been able to leave. She lived there now. To protect herself she immersed herself in the role, the role from story books where they incestuous relationship was wanted by both. Because that's all life was, a story. Everyone wrote their own story…everyone but her, he'd stolen her pen—no, not stolen she'd bury it because she was afraid to see the ending. _

_"Don't be so clingy in public, people will notice."_

_"Don't you love me?" She pouted up at him with a grin and puckered her lips for a kiss, which he gave, his hands sneaking around to squeeze her bottom, "I love you."_

_"Love you too, now go and get your brother."_

_It's just a roll. That's all. Just a roll. _

There was nothing left, only to live, for no purpose, with no direction, in some endless movie with herself as the main character and a script that had spun out of control and she would watch in on replay every time she looked in the mirror.

_"Does it feel good?"_

_"…yes."_

_Hands wandered, lips touched and bodies yielded quietly._

She should have stopped it, should have ran but she stayed and played out her role, she wasn't sure if she loved him truly and was as warped as he or if she hated him and she was too afraid to look and find out, looks like the old man was right. She needed to grow up still.

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><p>Tearing her gaze away from the mirror she blinked away her thoughts and unlocked the door, carefully placing her towel on the hook and walking out naked.<p>

He sat on the couch watching, his eyes raking her in and she reacted instantly, sauntering over, the perfect lover.

"Hello daddy."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>_Tell me what you think, things that didn't make sense, what you loved and what you hated but the point is to review~ And yes there was not real point or story-line to this._


End file.
